I’m a super busy stay-at-home mom, blogger, designer, wife, sister, friend and dog-chauffeur…
Which means I have only have two minutes each day to focus and just be with myself. And sometimes, I don’t even get that.
With all the stress and little lives I have to manage (my poor dogs are quite needy these days…) I’m most certainly drained.
Drained of my physical energy.
Drained of my attention span.
And (if I’m being honest), drained of my ability to care.
After a long day of picking up toys, saying the phrase, “why is the floor wet?”, and trying to build a business on the side, I’m just tired. Over it. Done.
Which makes it hard to want to make time for myself.
I want to practice some self-care, but let’s be honest here: who has time to try that list of 247 self-care ideas or light some candles and take a bath every day?
(I love your enthusiasm, Internet, but really? 247 self-care ideas?? Who has time for that?)
It sounds just lovely…
But self-care requires energy.
Which I’m already using to prepare for tomorrow’s tornado of chaos…
Why Self-Care Isn’t The Problem
Don’t get me wrong: I know that self-care is extremely important.
Taking care of yourself has some amazing benefits, like:
- Better mental health
- Better physical health
- Less stress
- Improved concentration
- More happiness
- Less overwhelm
Studies have shown that self-care can increase your sense of well-being, give you more energy, and help you feel more satisfied in life (check out all these TED Talks on self-care, there’s hundreds of benefits!)
Taking time for yourself also gives you a sense of control and authority over your own life.
Which as mothers we have very little of.
And you may already be working towards creating a more peaceful environment for yourself and your family.
You probably already know that “me-time” is an essential part of that.
But the fact is, you’re just too busy.
You’re helping other little people create a good life, which means yours gets put in the back of the closet (behind ten pairs of mismatched shoes and the long-lost dog leash).
If you’re like me, the more you try to fit self-care into your day, the more it feels like just another task to add to your extremely long to-do list.
It’s not that you don’t want to find time for yourself.
The problem is you can’t.
We don’t need 247 self-care ideas that only can only be done if you have no kids, no pets, and no responsibliites.
We need real self care ideas, ones that aren’t suggestions like, “Give yourself space to express your feelings.”
Our days are filled with poop-dodging, soap-dispensing, wardrobe-changing, and silent grumbling in our heads. We don’t have time to express our feelings.
After all, there’s no one that takes better care of all the people in your life than you do.
You might be crushing it as a mom but the truth is, you’ll never be able to keep those super-mom-powers up if you’re running on empty.
So let’s get really real here. What is a mom who has no time for herself to do when she needs more time for herself?
Here’s two daily routines (for the Supermom and Sensitive Mom) to help you find yourself in the chaos.
Becuase you’re just as important as everyone else around here, and they need you at your best.
Self-Care Ideas for Busy Moms (Who Have Zero Time for Self-Care)
A Self Care Routine for the “Supermom”
You’ve been called “Type-A”, “Overacheiver”, and “Supermom”, which is a superpower most people wish they had! This routine is perfect for you.
As a Supermom, your goal for self-care will always be to find calm before the chaos.
- Get up earlier. As a mom who strives to crush every task she takes on, you’re going to need some extra time to soothe. Make sure you’re getting at least a half hour to yourself each day. And if you’re getting up early make sure you’re not doing it just to be productive – and this is key. Your self-care routine must be focused on peace, not laundry. You’re a go-getter, which is why the morning must focus on rest.
- Do something quiet. Don’t start a day of chaos with chaos. Since you’re the type who needs to really get her hands dirty in order to feel fufilled, make sure your mornings are filled with ideas, simple tasks, and quiet times that allow you to feel calm before the chaos starts. Instead, find something simple to read, pick up a craft or work on slowly building up a business you’ve always dreamed about creating.
- Inspire yourself. Don’t forget that as you’re helping everyone else reach for their dreams by creating a structured home, you also deserve to feel inspired, swept away in something, and passionate to the core. Listen to what moves you, dance in your kitchen, and tell yourself it’s ok to be free and structured at the same time.
When You Can
- Sit still. There’s tons of great self-care ideas out there, but almost all of them are just trying to get you to find some quiet time. You may like the way speed feels, but to really appreciate it you’ll need to sit still, for five minutes at least. If you’re like me and meditation doesn’t quiet work for you, find some new music every week that will give you a sense of power, purpose, and passion. Music soothes even the most active brain…
- Let go. This one may be tricky for you, since you’re used to reigning everyone and everything in, but life really is more enjoyable when you let some things be as they naturally are. Take a moment when you can to revive your appreciation for simplicity, and you’ll find the peace you’ve been looking for.
- Create something. Your true love is productivity, which isn’t a bad thing! Don’t let anyone tell you that work can’t be a hobby – create something while you’re practicing just being in this world. Self-care for you will allow you to be yourself, whether that’s building a business, or building a house.
A Self Care Routine for the “Sensitive Mom”
For those of you who are truly a feeler in life, I get you. I’m a Sensitive Mom, and every day my brain is consumed by worrying, stressing, and constantly feeling about everyone else. That’s why this routine will work perfectly for you!
As an Intuative Mama, your goal for self-care will always be to manage what you feel, and the environment you create so you can respond to stressors with ease.
- Find some true silence. Your brain is wired to soak up every feeling around you, which is why it’s so important to find a quiet room where you can be alone to recharge your batteries. This is essential to creating a sense of peace each day, so build it in. Get up a little earlier so you can work on something that inspires you, or take your kids for a walk where you all sit in nature’s quiet together.
- Treat yourself. No, really! You really need to feel special each day, especially when you’re finally by yourself! This is why going out to eat, getting coffee before work, or buying new nail polish is so important to you. Treat yourself, and don’t feel guilty for doing it. As a Sensitive Mom you need the extra boost, and your ability to give up the guilt around treating yourself every once and a while will help you shed some extra negative emotions.
- Drink warm drinks, not cold ones. I learned this a while ago from a random study I found about “haptic sensations”, or in other words, how physical objects effects our everyday emotions. Sensitive Moms have a hard time adjusting to abrupt changes in life, and that includes physical things. Try not to drink really cold things in the morning, (or really anytime during the day), and keep soft, cozy things around the house. Your senses are stronger than others, which means even sitting on cold concreate or standing without a sweater for too long will have an effect on your emotions.
When You Can
- Cry a little. There’s no shame in releasing some energy. And as a Sensitive Mom, I try and find a few times a month to release all this emotional energy I’m carrying. Empathy is a gift, although a very heavy one. Sometimes you need a few minutes just to dump out emotion you don’t need anymore, and that’s ok.
- Laugh as hard as you can. While it may be easier for you to absorb negative emotions more than positive ones, you must find something that truly makes you laugh every once and while. My husband and I like to watch standup comedians on Netflix every week, but you may enjoy listening to funny podcasts or collecting funny cat memes. No matter what, make sure whatever you’re enjoying really makes you break out the giggles, because science says laughter is so good for the soul.
- Accept things. I struggle so much with accepting where I am in life, so I know this one may be hard for us Sensitive Moms. It’s so important though. Accepting who and where we are is a part of growing up, (which is something I’ll never reach the end of). It’s essential to your well-being and whole-feeling to give yourself permission to be ok with being you.
While here is no “universal” cure to finding time for yourself, you can build in little pieces of it each day.
Because life is crazy, insane, weird, overwhelming, irritating at times.
But it is also beautiful. Wonderful. And magical.
And totally worth it.